The Problem of Avoiding Conflict with My Spouse and WW Link Up!
Today is another repost of an oldie {October 2010} but a goodie from my series, “The Top Ten Mistakes I Made in Marriage.” Enjoy! I grew up in a family that didn’t really know how to resolve conflicts...
View Article12 Ways We Push Our Spouses Away and WW Link Up!
Very often we push our spouses away without even knowing we’re doing it on a conscious level. Sadly, I’m just as guilty of clinging to many of these “12 Ways” as you might be. In fact, I’d be better...
View ArticleTrying to unearth your spouse’s wounds? {SJT Video}
This week on Sloppy Joe Time I’m continuing the conversation about the emotional baggage we all have and how to deal with a spouse who is unwilling to “dig up” these old wounds. “Don’t you dare disturb...
View ArticleThe Unplugged Spouse {WW Linkup}
Today I’m so excited to have a guest post from Ugochi who blogs at Teshuva, where she writes on God’s redemption in life and marriage in ways that really resonate with what we are about here at Messy...
View ArticleFeeling like a victim in a hopeless marriage? SJT Video
Sometimes a common dynamic or mindset develops when a marriage has been in crisis for a extended period of time. Click on the video below to find out what that mindset is in Beth’s latest “Sloppy Joe...
View Article5 Ways Your Spouse Can Control You
I’m beginning a new series on Sundays that will unpack five ways that we are prone to let our spouses control us. FYI … I’ll still be posting videos on upcoming Sundays, just not as often. If you’ve...
View ArticleResisting God because You Feel Pressured?
This week I’m tackling another way we let our spouses control us … “Resisting spiritual pursuits because your spouse is cramming them down your throat.” The spouse who has been pressured by his/her...
View ArticleWhat Men Fear about Opening Up And Linkup
Today I want to continue to unpack the results of the “Men and Openness” survey by looking at question #5 … What do you feel you need to overcome in order to be better able to identify and share your...
View ArticleNew Series on Wounds of the Past and Linkup
Lately, it seems like God is dealing with me through all sorts of sources on the need to deal with old wounds that trigger me and my hubby in our marriage. It’s like everywhere I turn the subject turns...
View ArticleThe Toxic Tango of Triggers And WW Linkup
Today I’m continuing to unpack more in our series about the wounds of our pasts by sharing another one of my triggers, as well as how that impacts and often serves to trigger my husband in a certain...
View ArticleMy Failure to Control Myself And WW Linkup
I find it funny (or sad—you pick!) that, not only can I have trouble with being too controlling with my hubby, but I can go to the other extreme and not be controlling enough—of at least myself! My...
View ArticleWhat I Learned from a Fight with My Hubby And Linkup
Toward the end of my month-long reorganizing, repairing and purging of my house in June, my husband and I had an argument. Mind you, it wasn’t related to the hard work that we were doing on the house....
View Article4 Tempting Reasons We Fill the Gap And Linkup!
After reading some of the comments from my last post on the bad habit of “filling the gap” or assuming what we think our spouse or others feel/think, I realized that a “map” of sorts would be helpful...
View ArticleIs Your Love for Your Mate Failing?
Persevering in life and in certain painful seasons of marriage can feel so very overwhelming and discouraging, especially when the pain lingers for an extended time. We can feel helpless and confused...
View ArticleEncourage Conversation with Disengaged Spouse FMTM
Even though my hubby’s more of an extrovert than I am, he still struggles to fully engage in a deep conversation with me. That’s because it’s easy for an extrovert to remain on the surface. Oh sure,...
View ArticleHow to Tell if it’s Peace OR Relief You’re Pursuing FMTM
One of the most important lessons I learned in marriage was figuring out the difference between peace and relief. They seem so similar—like kissing cousins. And in some ways they are related. But I’ve...
View ArticleAre You Pushing or Encouraging Your Mate Spiritually?
Most of you know that I’m a pastor’s wife, but that doesn’t mean I’m not guilty of pushing my hubby spiritually when it seems like he’s not pursuing God with the same intensity as I am. Of course,...
View ArticleWhen Your ‘Love Style’ is a Pleaser And FMTM
Since I mentioned that my love style* is an “Avoider” in last week’s post, I got so much positive feedback, that I want to unpack another love style—the “Pleaser”—in today’s post. I’ll continue...
View ArticleVictim Love Style in Marriage And FMTM Linkup
Here at Messy Marriage, I’ve talked about a “Victim Mentality” a lot over the years, but this isn’t necessarily what I’m talking about today. A victim mentality can develop in any person’s life...
View ArticleHow ‘Stranger Things’ is like the ‘Fine Art’ of Listening (& Linkup)
My husband and I have been watching the Netflix series “Stranger Things” lately, and I see a metaphor in that show that perfectly illustrates the “Fine Art” of listening. What is it? Well, let me lay...
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